I always knew it would turn out this way…

Let me go back a few years and explain.  Linda and I decided to work it out.  We decided to have a child.  Nine months later Joshua was born.  It was the best day ever!  And the strangest.  The night before Linda and I were at the doctor’s office because she was in a lot of pain.  The doctor told us Linda was 1 centimeter and it would be another week.  The next morning I got up and went shopping.  I wanted to get some things which included a couple surprises for Linda and our baby.  Linda called while I was out and asked if I could come home and just be with her because the pain was back and it was excruciating.  I knew the pain was unbearable because Linda called and Linda is a trooper.  Linda doesn’t complain about these kinds of things.  Linda is tough.  Linda accepted she was going to have her pain for another week and she was calling me.  I rushed home and hid my surprises and sat with Linda on the couch.  Linda is strong and she has tears in her eyes from the pain.  After an hour I decide I can’t take the pain anymore.  Of course I’m not the one enduring the pain, but I could see it on Linda’s face and I had had enough.  I was weak, she was strong.  A doctor in her office agreed to see us.  I packed the minimum, us, and we were off.  It was going to be another week according to the doctor at 2am, now it’s 2pm and I’m just hoping they can give Linda something for the pain to get her through the week.

We arrive at the doctor’s office and the doctor hands Linda a cup for a sample.  For the next few minutes I chat with the doctor as we wait for Linda’s return.  I realize I’m uncomfortable with how long it is taking Linda to return so I abruptly leave the doctor and head down the hall.  Linda and I meet half way and she says her water broke and she was delayed because she was cleaning it up.  I told you she was a trooper!  We hurry back to the doctor where she does an exam and the doctor exclaims, “you’re 10 centimeters!”  We are told to drive across the street to the hospital.  I ask the doctor if an ambulance should be called and she says, “no.”  I then ask if there is something in the office we can put on the seat for Linda to sit on.  To this the doctor replies, “you are going to be in so much trouble with Linda for asking that.”  Linda laughs and says, “no, really, do you have something waterproof?  It’s a new car.”  We load up and we head across the street.

We park and I get a wheelchair.  This is where we are supposed to be.  We came for a tour and training for just this moment a while ago.  Linda gets in the wheelchair and we are off to the birthing suite.  As we pass nurses and doctors and other staff the same question keeps being asked, “can we help you?”  Linda and I answer in unison, “no thanks, we know where we are going.”  We did know where we were going and I think we got there in record time.  Up the elevator and into the suite where we were greeted by the screams of other expectant mothers in the midst of giving birth and the calmness of the staff already assembled to help us with our child.

20 minutes and 3 pushes and we had a son.  I was calling my family to go to our house and get stuff for us and help assemble the bassinet (because we had a week).  I was calling her family to come to the hospital to meet the newest family member.  Linda was calling for spaghetti.  Linda slept like a baby that night in the hospital.  I awoke every time someone walked by the door of our suite.  I used to be the one could sleep through anything and Linda heard everything.  Now it was different for us.  I was on high alert.  I was the protector.  And Linda slept because she trusted me to take care of our family.

We left the hospital the next day.  Our lives would never be the same.  Things change when you have a child.  Priorities change.  It was good for a while but we struggled with our roles as parents.  We struggled with our roles as a married couple.  3 years into the birth of our child, Linda and I couldn’t reconcile our needs and wants for each other and our son.  We split up and I was unhappy.

2 years after the split I realized my animosity towards Linda was only hurting me.  Linda had moved on and I wanted to move forward.  During the 2 years I had moved away, this too needed to change.  I sold everything.  I sold my 5 bedroom house, furnished.  I sold my car and motorcycles.  I kept a small used truck and a few sentimental items and moved to be closer to my son and his mother.  I wanted to be more involved with my son; I needed to be more involved with my son.  I had gone to one of my son’s soccer games while I was still living away.  Before the game I was talking with my son and giving him some pointers when the coach approached me and treated me like I was going to kidnap the kid.  That’s when I knew I needed to be more involved.

I coached the soccer team the next year and Linda was the team manager.  We were a team again, partners!  It was good for us.  It was good for our family.  Our family wasn’t going to be the traditional family, but we were going to be a family.  My relationship with Linda has stayed strong over the years and I have a son.  I have a son who knows his father and we love each other.  My son was 3 when our family became nontraditional.  My son is now 21.

During my road trip this year, I flew my son out to Cleveland so we could spend some time together.  Every day we spent together was the “best day ever”.  We took in baseball games in Cleveland, Detroit and Pittsburgh.  We went to visit family on their farms in Canton, family I haven’t seen for 40 years and family he has never seen.  I wanted the traditional family.  Sometimes we don’t get what we want.  Sometimes we get something better.

I always knew it would turn out this way.